I am not what I once was.
Ambition has flited away as ash does from a dying fire.
Confidence no longer calls my heart home.
Haunted by the shade of my former self, I cannot deny that I miss the strength my body once bore.
I am sorry that all I have left to give is less than you deserve.
To the next generation,
I have dreamt of a future I will never see,
But one that you will live.
I’ve seen you reaching for our star,
Cupping it in your hardened hands,
Whispering to it a dream you’ve had,
A dream beyond even your reach.
I know not where we will end.
For that is hidden in our dreams,
And for those that come after us to find.
Were all of your words a lie? Or just the ones you said to get what you wanted?
-A Fool, Melancholy Pier Across the Emerald Sea.
I am happily lost without you. Maybe now, I can find myself.
-A Fool, Upon the Sands of Known Uncertainty.
If I could live in a dream, let it be a dream without you in it.
-A Fool, to a Dwelling Angel of the Deep.
Hello again. Been longer than a minute this time, huh? Well, I could say it’s taking time to get settled in. But, that would be an easy excuse.
In truth, I am bouncing between stories. All the while being in a state of mind where I am pointlessly weighing the worth in moving.
I left a job I actually enjoyed going to, where the people I came to work with were welcoming. This came after months of being unemployed. But, more importantly I had left behind a real chance at a romantic relationship. That is what gnarls at me.
I saw a light in their dark eyes, and it felt like home.
Yet, the decision to move had already been made.
I will forever hate the timing of life. It challenges us, hiding a trap under ever opportunity. Making us decide between such choices that either way leaves a rift of regret.
Anyway, I finally don’t have to sleep on a couch. So, I should be able to get a solid night’s rest. At least, one can hope.
I hope these pictures I’ve taken buy your patience for a little while longer.
If you want more of a consistent update by me, I suggest following me on ye olde Instagram @hernalexj.
Till next time.
Alexander J Hernandez 