I am not what I once was.
Ambition has flited away as ash does from a dying fire.
Confidence no longer calls my heart home.
Haunted by the shade of my former self, I cannot deny that I miss the strength my body once bore.
I am sorry that all I have left to give is less than you deserve.
Were all of your words a lie? Or just the ones you said to get what you wanted?
-A Fool, Melancholy Pier Across the Emerald Sea.
I am happily lost without you. Maybe now, I can find myself.
-A Fool, Upon the Sands of Known Uncertainty.
If I could live in a dream, let it be a dream without you in it.
-A Fool, to a Dwelling Angel of the Deep.
Is it time for the dream to end?
Your once fierce embrace has grown brittle.
The forge in your heart has gone silent.
No longer does it churn sweet dreams.
Your playful lips, now somber, have turned hollow, just like your once glistening eyes.
No longer do the bellows of your bosom weave a lover’s melody.
No longer am I blanketed by your favor before the dawn.
No longer…
Hello again. Been longer than a minute this time, huh? Well, I could say it’s taking time to get settled in. But, that would be an easy excuse.
In truth, I am bouncing between stories. All the while being in a state of mind where I am pointlessly weighing the worth in moving.
I left a job I actually enjoyed going to, where the people I came to work with were welcoming. This came after months of being unemployed. But, more importantly I had left behind a real chance at a romantic relationship. That is what gnarls at me.
I saw a light in their dark eyes, and it felt like home.
Yet, the decision to move had already been made.
I will forever hate the timing of life. It challenges us, hiding a trap under ever opportunity. Making us decide between such choices that either way leaves a rift of regret.
Anyway, I finally don’t have to sleep on a couch. So, I should be able to get a solid night’s rest. At least, one can hope.
I hope these pictures I’ve taken buy your patience for a little while longer.
If you want more of a consistent update by me, I suggest following me on ye olde Instagram @hernalexj.
Till next time.
Alexander J Hernandez 